I spent most of my life hating my body. As I grew up, I compared my body to what society told me was perfect and also to my own mother’s body. I was picked on and called many names. The names used were not meant to compliment, but degrade me as a human being.
I vividly remember being eight years old when a group of the popular girls first used the term “Barbie Doll” on me. I was embarrassed and also hurt by their name calling. I vowed after that moment to never be proud of how I looked for fear they would pick on me again. The sad part is this name calling did not stop, and I was not a strong enough individual to stand up to their bullying. Those moments shaped me as a young girl and into my teen years. I struggled with my body image and also with who I was as a woman.
It was not until I married my husband at the age of 22 when I finally realized how much I loathed my body. I could not understand how my husband thought I was so beautiful, when inside I struggled with how I felt about my body. I use the term “felt”, because during my lifetime my weight and size has fluctuated. At my heaviest I weighed almost a 170 pounds, and my lightest adult weight was 107. Size was only a manifestation of how I looked on the outside, but it never correlated to how I felt on the inside. Throughout it all, my dress size or the size of my butt did not matter, because beauty is not a size! I had a continual tug of war, on because if I let myself feel comfortable with being beautiful, then others might think I was stuck up or into myself. In the end, I struggled needlessly for many years with worry about what others would think of me, and I wasted these years on the opinions of others.
My point to share this is because getting down to that perfect size might not be the solution to happiness. While I think we should all strive to be the healthiest we can be, we also need balance. I am now 36 years old, and for the first time in my life I actually love who I am inside and out. It was a long journey, but I achieved it through journaling, counseling, and also maturing as a woman. I am in the best shape of my life right now, but the biggest key to my success is not the size of my biceps or my dress. It is the ability to finally block out the world, and allow myself be okay with being beautiful inside and out. I will let my success shine.
If you want to make a change and really start to feel good about yourself in your own skin, please contact me so I can help you. It is my mission to help end the trend of obesity and poor health, but moreover, I want every person I help to realize their true potential and feel good about themselves.
Leave a Reply